I don't do hairspray
by A.C. Aldon
Summary: It's the 60's and Silena is a pretty different teen. For three reasons -She doesn't watch the Corney Collins show -She isn't COMPLETELY in love with Link Larkin -And she ABSOLUTLY DOES NOT do hairspray (T for later chaps.)
1. Chapter 1

Summery::

It's the 60's and Silena Edwards is a pretty different teen. For three reasons

-She doesn't watch the Corny Collins Show

-She isn't **completely** in LOVE with Link Larkin

-And she ABSOLUTLY DOES NOT do hairspray

* * *

A:/N: So, this is my story. **_I don't do Hairspray_**. I'm going to try very hard to stick to the play/movie. I'm not exactly sure which one I want to use so...I suck at updates and thoughts are long. I hope you like it!. Shout-outs are welcome and so are comments, concerns,and death threats...well maybe just the first two. xDD

* * *

I walked into her _newest _school in Baltimore, Maryland. The most remote city in the whole states. My father owns T.V. stations acoss the country so he wants us to be close to his _"Star"_ station. We moved all the way from California, Los Angelos to Maryland, Baltimore. It SUCKS!  
"Silena!" Mickey, my brother called from the newly bought black mustang  
"I'm coming!" I yelled slipping my bag over my head and ran out the door

"Ooooh, all dressed up fo the new school" Mickey playfully sneered. I looked down at my outfit slightly blushing  
"I wouldn't be talking Mr. Fancy" I laughed opening the car door and slipping in. Mick had a knack for rising to the occasion. For example dressing like in a new shirt and his church pants.

"Let's just go" he pinkly snorted turning to the road

"oookay" I smiled as I turned on the radio to listen to "Blue Suede Shoes" By Elvis, and slipped on my sunglasses

A few minutes later we arrived at a shabby looking building. I lowered my sunglasses in suspision. "Is this it?" I inspected the school slipping out of the car as Mickey parked it.

"You have got to be kidding me" he seethed though his teeth as we entered the school "Alright, let's get this over with"  
_

*knock knock*

"Come in"  
I walked into the classroom flashing my overused pearly whites as I always do. "Hi, I'm Silena Edwards. Principle Kirk told you I was coming."  
"Ahhh, yes Ms. Edwards. I do want you to know even with your father's current status you will recieve no special treatment from me or any of the teachers."  
"Yes, Sir" I nodded as the students started whispering to eachother about my father's "_status_" "I have already been told"  
"Very good, well Ms. Edwards you may sit between Mr. Larkin and Ms. Von Tussle" He said nodding to the two students heatedly arguing in the corner of the yelled as I made my way to my seat "Ms. Von Tussle! ! Wouldn't you like to introduce yourself to Ms. Edwards"  
The boy's hand shot infont of me as he flashed me his pearly whites "Link Larkin, at your service"  
I gave him a tinkly laugh and shook his hand, while flashing MY pearly whites "Silena Edwards"  
"AND" the girl on my otherside said a _bit_ loudly "I'm Amber Von Tussle"  
"Nice to meet you Amber" I gave her my hand. As she simply scoffed and said  
"I know"  
"Don't mind her" Link smiled politely "She's just impolite at times"  
She scoffed again. "Well" I said pulling my notebook out of my bag "It's nothing I can't handle"  
Class went on like a regular Junior class does. It was pretty boring because I am actually advanced. So I just wrote whatever came to my mind.

* * *

He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes  
Started making his way past two in the morning  
He hasn't been sober for days

Leaning now into the breeze remembering Sunday  
He falls to his knees, they had breakfast together  
But two eggs don't last like the feeling of what he needs

Now this place seems familiar to him  
She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin  
She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs  
Left him dying to get in

Forgive me, I'm trying to find  
My calling, I'm calling at night  
I don't mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl?  
She's been running through my dreams  
And it's driving me crazy, it seems  
I'm gonna ask her to marry me

And even though she doesn't believe in love  
He's determined to call her bluff  
Who could deny these butterflies?  
They're filling his gut

Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces  
He pleads though he tries  
But he's only denied  
Now he's dying to get inside

Forgive me, I'm trying to find  
My calling, I'm calling at night  
I don't mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl?  
She's been running through my dreams  
And it's driving me crazy, it seems  
I'm gonna ask her to marry me

There's a neighbor said, she moved away  
Funny how it rained all day  
I didn't think much of it then  
But it's starting to all make sense

Oh, I can see now  
That all of these clouds are following me  
In my desperate endeavor  
To find my whoever, wherever she may be

I'm not coming back, I've done something so terrible  
I'm terrified to speak but you'd expect that from me  
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt  
Now the rain is just washing you out of my hair

And out of my mind, keeping an eye on the world  
So many thousands of feet off the ground  
I'm over you now, I'm at home in the clouds  
Towering over your head

Well I guess I'll go home now  
I guess I'll go home now  
I guess I'll go home now  
I guess I'll go home

* * *

"Silena? You there?"

A voice snapped me out of my subconsiousness. I looked up to see Link staring at me with a concerned look on his face "Uh, I'm fine"

"Well, class is over. What do you have?"

"Geometry. Why?"

"So do I. I can walk you there" He smiled helping me gather my stuff.

We walked to a room a few hallways down from the next one before I heard someone call my name  
"Hey! Lena!"  
I turned around to see Link staring at me with a concerned expression. "You ok? You were spacing out a bit had me worried for a bit there."

"Yeah, I'm fine" I said smiling before stopping to give him a strange look "You called me Lena"

"Yeah, is that ok cause-" Link started to ramble

"Hey, it's fine!" I laughed as we walked to our class

* * *

A:N:/ So, yea! First chapter of I Don't Do Hairspray...yay! Again! If you want a shout-out, just ask xDD


	2. Chapter 2

A:/N: So! **I don't do hairspray**, chapter 2! Yay!A'ight...kk. Sometimes the chapters are long...sometimes short..idk xDD

* * *

"So, Silena. How was you first day at Baltimore High?" Link asked enthusiastically as we entered our last class of the day

"Well, Link. It was more positively fantastic than I have ever imagined I smiled and pulled my notebook out of my bag. I was about to open my notebook when a hand slammed it down. A really big hand

"Hi, I'm Tracy Turnblad!" she said loudly extending her hand. For some reason she reminded me of a white whale. She had hair sprayed short brown hair. She was wearing waist high skirt and midriff short shirt. It was disturbing

"umm...Silena Edwards" I smiled unsure how to respond to a greeting like that. I turned to look to Link for help but, he had already started talking to a boy around Mickey's age. I scowled embarrassingly as Tracy called my name again.

"This is my friend, Penny" she said pulling a tall blonde girl to her side "Tracy!" the girl whined embarrassingly. She was wearing a knee-length dress and Maryjane's. She was acceptable

"Nice to meet you" I smiled laughing

"Wow you dress is really pretty were'd you get it?" Tracy gushed sitting down next to me

"Oh, this?" I asked nervously. My face started to turn red "Well, uh Paris" I scratched the back of my neck nervously

"Oh! I've never heard of that store! Where is it?" she asked anxiously. luckily at that same moment the teacher walked in

"Good Afternoon, Class" the teacher said picking up her book calling roll "Noreen Deiith" "Silena Edwards?" she said with a confused voice I raised my hand. She stood up with an exited look on her face. "I love your father's work! It's inspiring!" she gushed

"oh! well, uh thank. I'll be sure to let him know" Everyone in the class kept eying me suspiciously. I eyed the clock for a sign that I could leave. I got lost in the drone of the teacher's voice and started doodling. A girl, a pretty girl, with sunglasses and and her hair pulled into a ponytail.  
"Wow! Where'd you learn how to draw like that Lena?" Link said amazed. In shock I turned around looking at the room to see no one was there.  
"Oh! Hey, Link!" I smiled

"So Lena, I was  
"You do know that everyone is gone. Right?" an annoyed voice, which I recognized as Mickey said holding up my bag a throwing me over his shoulder "C'mon we gotta go" I sighed in defeat weakly waving good bye to Link.

* * *

I sighed putting down my hand as I watched Lena being carried out. I sighed looking at my watch. I was late. Ah, well slick guys don't perspire

* * *

A:/N: Ok! Done xD


	3. Chapter 3

I glanced around the room dad was leading us to. People were dashing around spraying their hair with hairspray. It was toxic.  
"Geez Loise! Whats with all the spray?" i gagged as a boy dashed past me spraying his pants with hairspray  
"You kids watch from the stands ok?" my dad motioned for us to sit in the stands behind the cameras  
(Corney Collins theme comes on)  
I turned to look at Mickey as he stood up. He held his hand out to me with a goofy smile on his face "C'mon you know you wanna!" he smiled enthusiastically as he started mimicking Corney's dance moves and lips syncing his voice "nicest kids in town!"  
We mimicked the dance moves as we saw them throwing in random moves that flowed into the routine. You see in Los Angleles we were professional dancers, but we couldn't debut because we were under aged. We were call The Sun Spots, because wherever we went the spotlight followed and Baltimore was no exception. As me and Mickey were finishing the dance with a VERY impressive lift I saw the camera was turned on us. I crouched in front of the camera giving it a good flirty wink as the camera man turned the camera back to the stage with a red face.

* * *

I turned around to finish the song only to see that the camera was on a girl and a guy. We stopped the song in confusion as we cut to commercial break.

"Who do you think you are?!" Amber yelled stomping up to the dancing duo. The girl flipped backwards off the boys shoulders.

"I don't know. Who do **you** think we are?" She smiled cheekily as she turned around with a bright smile and sat down in a cute pose and looked up to the boy. "How about you Mickey? Who do you think we are?"

"Just strangers in a studio, I guess" he laughed falling down on the chair in a neat fashion

"Well, I think you should get out!" Amber yelled pointing to the door

"Why?" The boy shrugged " It's not like we have cooties."

"Exactly...but," Mr Edwards, the producer pointed to Doreen "You do!"

"What!?" Doreen yelled in confusion

**"5 minutes 'till on air"**

"Lena will perform her song "Cooties" on air with the boys. So get it!"

Us boys, including Mickey all got in place behind Lena. Some audio music came on before singing

(( watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=H_pjDPtSG6s))

(Try to imagine the dance from that HILARIOUS video XD)

At the end we were all astonished that we finished the on going choreography, just by following Lena. But, what made me surprised is that Lena and Mickey didn't even break a sweat.

"Now!" Amber yelled in an irritated tone "Who are you!"

"Good job, Sweetheart!" said giving Lena a hug

"Thanks Daddy" she smiled. Wait...Daddy?


	4. Chapter 4

A:/N: So...hello! Yea..idk..hi..haha..it's a good chapter...I think..yea, ok.

* * *

"D-Daddy?" I stuttered "Y-Your Mr. Edward's d-daughter?"

"Yes?" She said in a confused tone

"Your Miss Edwards?" Amber gaped staring at Lena

"SORRY!" we all looked at the entrance to see Link sauntering into the studio "I walked"

"You're LATE" Ms. Von Tussle grumbled impatiantly

"Sorry" Link scratched the back of his head

"Well, ANYWAYS" Mr. Edwards went on completely ignoring Link and Ms. Von Tussle " I have decided to put Lena and Mickey in the show"

(C.C. POV)

"You wha-" Amber started before her mom stopped her

"Darling! Of course it's okay!" she gave Amber a pointed look before Amber went to glomp Link

Lena turned to me as Mickey and Mr. Edwards walked to his office.

"So, it seems like I'll be on your show starting...tomorrow?"

"I...uh guess so" I said sheepishly looking down at her. I just now noticed I'm kinda tall for high school senior. "Hey! aren't you and Mickey the new kids at our school?"

She laughed "Yea, I just started today"

"Well, then welcome to our school and our show" I smiled "So what do you wanna do?"

"How about you teach me the routine? I've only seen it once" she smiled leaning on one foot

"sure." I smiled as I extended her my elbow and she took it

* * *

(TPOV -2 weeks later)

Amber and I raced out of the science lab.

"Come on Penny! We're gonna be late!" I yelled as I dragged Penny through the crowds of harboring high-schoolers

"Traaaaaaaaaaaaaacy!" Penny whined as I dragged her onto the bus

"Penny if we don't make it in time we'll miss the intro!" I reasoned racing off dragging Penny in tow as the bus stopped. We passed the T.V. store next to dad's joke shop. The T.V.s showed the preview for the next show already. We raced up the stairs to my apartment and flipped on the T.V. just in time for the show. Me and Amber swayed with the beat of the intro as Corney came on.

* * *

CORNY  
Hey there, Teenage Baltimore!  
Don't change that channel!  
'Cause it's time for the Corny  
Collins Show! Brought to you by  
Ultra Clutch Hairspray!

CORNY (& COUNCIL MEMBERS)  
Ev'ry afternoon  
When the clock strikes four  
(bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba)

A crazy bunch of kids  
Crash through that door yeah  
(bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba)

Well they throw off their coats  
And leave the squares behind  
And then they shake it, shake it, shake it  
Like they're losing their mind  
You'll never see them frown  
'Cause they're the nicest kids in town

So every afternoon  
You turn your T.V. on  
(na, na, na, na, na, na-na-na-na)

And we know you turn the sound up  
When your parents are gone, yeah  
(na, na, na, na, na, na-na-na-na)

And then you twist and shout  
For your favorite star  
And when you've practiced every step  
That's in your repertoire  
You better come on down  
And meet the nicest kids in town

Nice white kids  
Who like to lead the way  
And once a month  
We have our "negro day!"  
And i'm the man who keeps it spinnin' round  
Mr. Corny Collins  
With the latest, greatest Baltimore sound!

So every afternoon  
Drop everything woo!  
(bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba)

Who needs to read and write  
When you can dance and sing?  
(bop-bee-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, bee-ba)

Forget about your algebra  
And calculus  
You can always do your homework  
On the morning bus  
Can't tell a verb from a noun  
They're the nicest kids in town

Roll Call!

COUNCIL MEMBERS  
I'm Amber!  
Brad!  
Tammy!  
Fender!  
Brenda!  
Sketch!  
Shelley!  
I.Q!  
Lou Ann!  
Joey!  
Mikey, Vicki, Becky, Bix, Jessie, Darla, Paulie!  
Noreen!  
Doreen!  
And I'm...LINK!

(All of the girls scream.)

And intoducing our newest members Silena and Mickey!

(Mick and Silena do some fancy dance move)

* * *

"OmiGosh! Look Penny it's Silena!"

* * *

CORNY (& COUNCIL MEMBERS)  
So, if every night you're shaking  
As you lie in bed  
(pony-pony, ooh, pony-pony)  
Shake it baby!

And the bass and drums  
Are pounding in your head  
(mony-mony, ooh, mony-mony)  
Who cares about sleep  
When you can snooze in  
School?

They'll never get to college  
But they sure look cool  
Don't need a cap and a gown  
When you're the nicest  
Kids in town

Nicest kids in...  
Kids in town!  
Woo!

* * *

Comment if you liked it! and favorite! and PM me! (I get bored)


	5. Chapter 5

A:/N: Taken a few weeks after Mickey and Silena's debut...baah. I'm bored...PM me?

* * *

"Take five everyone!" Mr. Edwards yelled as we finished the show. It had been a pretty slick show. Besides the fact that Amber fell on her butt during the opening.

"It's all your fault Link!" Amber yelled as we walked off set "If you had been paying attention to me like you should have then MAYBE I wouldn't have fallen on live BROADCAST!" She screamed getting into my face

"Whoa, Amber" I heard a voice say. I turned to see Silena giving me and Amber a confused look "Don't break a mirror" She laughed putting her hands on her hips.

"It's not my fault" Amber frowned tugging on Silena's arm "Link dropped me!"

"Oh yea," She hummed in realization as she took off the hat on her head ( [polyvore] ) "I remember now!" She laughed "Link you should be ashamed of yourself!" She laughed scolding me

"Don't laugh about it!" Amber whined throwing her fist down

"Don't worry Amber," Silena assured patting Amber on the back. You see over the weeks Amber and Silena have become very CLOSE friends. "I'm sure nobody saw it. Corney saved you anyway so" She trailed off shrugging her shoulders.

"Did I hear my name?" Corney asked as he walked up with Mickey and took Silena's hat from her hands

"I was just mentioning your name. I would NEVER say it intentionally" She dragged taking the hat back "And that's mine"

"I still look better in it" Corney shot back giving me a wink "Don't I Link?"

"Instead of worrying about who looks better in MY hat" Mickey inturrupted as he walked up with a stack of papers( Mickey is NOT Jacksone Rathbone...unless you want him to be [ [polyvore] ]" Shouldn't we be worrying about the upcoming auditions?"

Silena smiled and took Mickey's hands as she glided her him into a waltz. Dropping Mickey's papers in the process "Aren't you a little young to worrying about that kind of stuff?" Amber asked with her hands on her hips

"Amber's right" Silena said as She and Mickey came to a stop and placed the hat on his head "You should let loose Mick"

"Yea, get with the glide Mick" Corney smiled putting his arm around Mickey's shoulders

"It's kind've my job to do this stuff" Mickey retorted shaking off Corney's arm and picking up his papers.

"anyway, isn't it Mrs. Von Tussle's job to worry about the auditions?" I asked leaning on my vanity

"Not this year. Mr. Edwards wants Silena to take care of it" he droned

"Wait! What?!" Silena intturupted

"Of course Mrs. Von Tussle will supervise" Mickey continued as he turned to walk away

"Mickey I can't-" Silena started

"Sure you can Silena" Amber intterupted "I think so"

"Me too" Me and Corney said at the same time

"If you say so" Silena smiled giving us a sad smile

* * *

"Front step cha cha cha. Side step, Front step and turn"

Me and Penny walked into the studio. We waved at Silena trying to get her attention but, she was to busy practicing next to Link Larkin. Omigod Link! "Omigod Penny there's Link! Link!" I gasped giving her a quick side glance "Penny pinch me!" Penny..pinched me "Ouch!"

"You told me to" Amber mumbled giving me a confused look

"I can't believe I'm really here auditioning!" I gushed

"I can't believe I'm here watching you audition!" she gushed back

* * *

"Oh! Amber looked at this motley crew!" Ms. Von Tussle exclaimed as she stopped dancing

Amber turned back giving me a tap on the shoulder "Look she whispered. I turned to see alot of...I sorta have to admit motley girls. I actually even saw Penny and Tracy standing anxiously in the back.

"Mrs. Von Tussle, this is MY audition" I started as she turned away ignoring me

"This town has really gone downhill since I was miss Baltimore Crabbs" she sighed before she started " Oh My God! How times have changed! These girls must be blind or completely deranged! But, time seemed to halt when I was Miss Baltimore Crabbs! she sighed before looking over and scolding Amber "Amber, that move is far to dirty!

"Oh Mother wake up from that dream of yours. This isn't 1930" she retorted as she danced with Mickey. I laughed as I took Link's shoulders.

"You can laugh but, life's a test. Don't do this! Don't do that! Remember mother knows best. For the crown's in the vault. From when I won Miss Baltimore Crabbs" she lectured

"Ms. Velma!" I scolded giving her a stern look as she once again ignored me

"These moves are perect ammunition" Amber smiled walking over to her mother. I gapped as I realized. Well, like mother like daugher

"Let me show you how your dear mommy took out the compitition" she whispered to Amber before commanding "Girls go get them, Boys let's rumba!"

I sighed as I went to get Tracy "This way Tracy" I smiled as I led her to the other girls "You excited?" I asked

"Beyond!" She grinned

"Well, good luck" I said patting her THICK shoulder

"Thanks Silena!" she waved as I joined everyone else

"Silena" Velma smiled "Your turn"

"Well, good morning ladies" I smiled stepping up "Let's see what you got"

"Twist twist twist twist mashed potato mambo"

"Ready? Begin"

"Now on my show you'll never find a thrusting hip, bump, or grind" Velma interrupted

"What's that a dance for fleas and ticks?" Amber stared

"Oh, you should have seen my bag of tricks!" Velma whispered "Oh! I hit the stage batons ablazed while belting Aida and preparing souffles. But, that triple sommersault was how I clinched Miss Baltimore Crabbs!" she belted

I rolled my eyes in disbelif as Velma turned to me "Proceed"

"Are you scare were on live?" I questioned as I sauntered forward

"No, I'm sure I can cope" Tracy responded

"Well, this show isn't broadcast in" I paused as all the girls yelled out

"Cinimasope!"

"I never drank one chocolete malt. No deserts for Miss Baltimore Crabbs"

"This one will never get a date in those hand-me-down clothes" Amber snickered

"Kid, she'll never get a date 'till daddy buys her a new nose" Velma snorted along with her "I would say 'oy gevalt! If I wasn't Miss Baltimore Crabbs"

"Do you dance like you dress?" Amber sneered

"Amber there's no need to be cruel!" I turned to look at the voice. This time it was Link. I smiled at his courage

"Would you swim in an integrated pool?" Velma asked Tracy

"I sure would!" Tracy smiled as I groaned in frustration "I'm all for integration it's the new frontier!"

"Not in Baltimore it isn't" Velma smiled sourly " And may I be frank? First impressions can be tough and when I saw you I knew it! If your size wasn't enough your last answer just blew it. And so my dear so short and stout You can never be in so were kicking you out!"

I sighed as Mickey and I slide over to the side of the stage to watch the slaughter fest.

"With your form and your face" Velma cooed "Aaww, but it isn't your fault. You're just down with a case of" she paused

I watched as everyone sang "Baltimore Crabbs!"

I moaned in frustration as Mickey patted my shoulder

"Eh," Velma sighed "You may go"

"Um..Thank You?" Tracy responded as she was ushered out the door

"That went" I paused to look at Mickey

"Disgraceful! Awful? Downhill?"

"All of the Above"

* * *

A:/N: Yea, so I did the thing in dialogue this time..hope you liked it!


End file.
